My Books

Monday, August 10, 2015

I'm Claustophobic

You may not know that I'm claustrophobic because I didn't know I was claustrophobic until about a year ago.

I went in for an MRI on a hip I was having trouble with. I filled out the paperwork prior to my appointment. One of the questions innocently asked, "Are you claustrophobic?" I had a feeling I was mildly so, but not so much that I thought I should check the little box that said "yes." If I got a little nervous, it was simply a matter of mind over matter, right? I have a very even temperament. I'm not overly emotional or easily upset. No problem.


They explained the procedure and strapped me down so I couldn't move, including bands across my forehead and legs. My heart started to pitter-patter a little faster. They gave me headphones and asked what type of music I liked. I opted for a Christian music station.

Then the hard table of a bed I was laying on began sliding toward the MRI tube. I closed my eyes, The closer I got, the more panicky I felt. My heart pounded wildly. I struggled to breathe. It was all I could do not to scream. I. Freaked. Out.

I have never felt so scared and out of control in my life. But I was right about one thing. It was mind over matter. I listened to the radio playing in my headset. I told myself to breathe in the peace of Jesus and breathe out fear. A long year or two later, I was finished. I had made it through. I hadn't even screamed.

Where did that fear come from? I have no idea. It's irrational. I was in absolutely no danger or pain. But I know I'm not alone in this fear, not that that knowledge helps me at all. It's a piece of me that I wish were different. Maybe someday it will be. But for now, for today, I'm claustrophobic.

How about you? Are you claustrophobic? Any other fear that took you by surprise? The comment section is begging for you to tell us about it.

2 comments:

  1. For me the worst part of the MRI was the pounding noise. I could not even hear the music. Strangely, other people tell me they don't remember any noise.

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    1. I've heard that the noise really bothers some people. It was noisy, but that part didn't scare me. Funny how people are so different.

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