5 Ways to Tell if Your Child is Ready to Stay Home Alone

You long for the day when you can leave the house without children or hiring a babysitter. Will it ever come? When? How will you know if he's ready to stay home by himself? Here are a few guidelines to consider:

1. Does he follow your rules? If your child generally follows your rules without complaining about them, he may be ready to try a short time alone at home. A child who regularly butts heads with you should be told that by increasing responsible behavior and decreasing complaining, he'll get closer to achieving that goal.

2. Does he feel ready to stay home alone? Some children are not comfortable staying alone even in high school while others are perfectly content to try it in fourth or fifth grade. Never leave a child alone who doesn't want to be left, nor hint that there's anything wrong with him if he doesn't. Everyone matures in their own time.

3. Does he know what to do in an emergency? Unless a child has the maturity and presence of mind to remember to call 9-1-1, run to a neighbor's house for help, or follow other emergency procedures, he shouldn't be left alone.

4. Does he know how to use the telephone effectively? Children who don't know how to use the phone or avoid using it because they're not comfortable with it aren't ready to go solo.

5. Has he proven his responsibility? You know your child's responsibility level better than anyone else. If he takes initiative to do things he should without always being pushed, he may be trustworthy enough to handle the responsibility of being home alone. You are the best judge of that.

If you feel your child meets the above criteria, I'd start with a short trial in the daytime. Maybe a quick run to the grocery store. Try to keep it to a half hour or less. Then assess how he did, what he did while you were gone, and how he felt about being home alone. If all was well, you can start increasing the time little by little.
Note: Always write your contact information down for your child in case he needs to get in touch with you. Assure him he can call you for any reason, even if he just feels scared.

Some children like their parents to pray with them before they leave. This gives the reassurance that they're not truly home alone since God will be there with them every moment.

It's exciting to see your children grow into a responsible people. Let them know how proud you are of them!

At what age did you start leaving your children home alone? How did it go? 

Disciplining Children With Nonverbal Cues

Ever feel like you're talking to a brick wall when it comes to disciplining your kids? Seem like nothing you say is heard or obeyed? Maybe it's time to come up with a different discipline strategy. If you're tired of talking and having to say the same things repeatedly, why not try silent discipline?

Start disciplining with nonverbal cues. Sit down with your children and talk honestly with them. Tell them you aren't happy with how the disciplining has been going. Own up to the fact that you may not have been as respectful to them as you should have been, if that's the case. Never mind that they may have been disrespectful to you, too. Apologize and ask their forgiveness. Tell them you're willing to try a different way of discipline if they'll be responsive to it. Explain that you'll use nonverbal cues when you need them to do something differently. Let them help you decide what the cues will be. Here are a few suggestions:

Nonverbal Cue                                                    Translation

Hand on child's arm                                               You're talking back, please stop

Shaking head                                                         No. That's unacceptable.

Index finger pointing up.                                         Please wait. I'll be right with you.

Hand on heart.                                                       I love you.

Thumbs up                                                            You're doing great!

Hand up                                                                 Stop

Index finger to lips                                                  Quiet

It may be that your child might like to have some nonverbal cues to use for you, too, such as:

Hand on your arm when you're talking to someone     I need to say something.

Finger twirling in the air                                               I have to go to the bathroom.

Tug on his ear                                                             I'm bored/I'm ready to go.

Hand cupped behind ear                                             I didn't hear you.

Of course, many parents use standard American Sign Language with their children, too, and find it to be useful, especially for nonverbal children. Using cues ratchets down tension. It keeps parents and kids from yelling at each other and it bonds you because you have a secret code no one else knows. There's power in a loving touch. It conveys so much more than spoken words. Nonverbal cues work beautifully with some, but not all, children. So if you're frustrated with verbal communication with your kids, try it! Even a slight diversion from the norm is a nice break for everyone and it may make your usual form of communication easier to hear if you return to it.

Do you use nonverbal communication or discipline with your children? What are your cues and how do they work?

Linda

10 Free Ways to Be a Fun Parent

I know, I know. You're thinking If it were easy to be a fun parent, we'd all do it. True. But what's not to love about something that's free and fun? You've gotta try these. Really. You'll feel better.

1. Play with your child. This could be a board game, Barbies, video games, on the playground, in the backyard, wherever. Join in the fun rather than stand on the sidelines. You'll definitely move up a few notches on your child's most admired list. Don't worry about looking silly. Kids think it's funny when parents play at their level.
2. Skip. That's right, skip. When's the last time you did? Take hold of your child's hand and take off together. Skip as high as you can. It's exhilarating!
3. Sing. Can't carry a tune in a bucket? All the better. It'll just add to the fun. Sing to your child. Sing together. Let him sing to you. As your child grows, so will their groans when you sing. But then again, so will the memories you're making together. Don't forget to laugh at yourself and never criticize your child's singing.
4. Teach them cool tricks like whistling or clapping with one hand.Is there a weird skill you learned as a child? Can you draw something in a special way? Can you still do a cartwheel? Can you speak in a funny voice? Show it off to your kids and teach them to do it too. They may have some freakish skill they can do, too. Let them teach you in return!
5. Laugh and smile. As often as you can, at the very least daily. If you're not much of a laugher, start by smiling more often. Smile at your child, your spouse, anything you find amusing or appealing. This will ease you into laughing out loud. Laughing eases tension and raises the fun factor incredibly. It also makes you more approachable, which is critical to your child's security. As a reminder, tape a smiling face to your bathroom mirror.
6. Be silly. There are plenty of ways to do this. Here are a few. Make silly rules like you have to whisper all day. Wear wacky clothes. Make up holidays. 
7. Surprise them. Say yes when they expect a no. The delight on their faces is totally worth it. For example: Can I have dessert before supper? Yes! Better yet, offer it before they ask. Or how about when you see them sitting around doing nothing you say, "What are you doing just sitting there? Why don't you go jump on the bed a while?" A couple jumps isn't going to kill anyone or anything and a surprise statement like that scatters boredom like nobody's business.
8. Love their friends. Invite them over. Make them snacks. Converse with them. Take an interest in what they're interested in. This will score big points with your kids.
9. Be childlike yourself. Don't be so concerned about being a responsible adult. Be willing to be undignified for a while. Get dirty. Use your imagination. Be creative. You may enjoy it!
10. Encourage and praise them every chance you get. Above all, do this one. Let them try things their own way, even if it doesn't turn out as well as your way. The unspoken message here is "I trust your judgment." Praise them for their efforts, not the results. Point out their positive character traits (i.e. kindness, perseverance, honesty) rather than their achievements. Encourage them to keep trying at things that are tough. Always, always cover necessary criticism or discipline with love, as if this one mistake was just an aberration of their usual great behavior and judgment. 

None of these suggestions cost you a cent. As a matter of fact, I bet you'll find you're paid back in spades (or giggles and hugs) if you do just some of them some of the time. Your tension may decrease and your fun factor increase in the process! Go for it!

How do you have fun with your kids?

Linda

Forgiving When Children Disappoint

No matter how great your kids are, they will probably disappoint you. I'm not talking about small disappointments like forgetting to pick up their toys or clean their room when you ask. I mean deep disappointments that hurt your heart and make you wonder what their future holds.

When they lie to you about where they've been, announce they're pregnant, experiment with drugs, or consistently break curfew, how do you forgive them and keep loving them? Obviously, there are no easy answers. But here are ten things you may want to consider.

1. Remember your child is trying to find his way in the world. He will make mistakes. Just because he's using bad judgment now doesn't mean he always will. 
2. Look for any positive quality in your child and focus on it.Let him know you appreciate that quality. For instance, "I love how you're so tender with your girlfriend. You'll make someone a wonderful husband someday." You act as a mirror to your child. Hold up a positive image of him so he can live up to it.
3. Catch him doing something right and either thank him for it or comment on it. If he picks up his dirty dish and carries it to the sink, thank him. Or say, "You're getting really good at picking up after yourself." Show him you notice the good in him and not just the bad.
4. Hold him accountable. Let natural consequences be his greatest teacher. If your child won't get up to go to his summer job, let him sleep. Eventually, he'll get written up or fired. Great! This will teach him he must be responsible with his job if he wants to have the money he wants or needs.
5. Don't make his problem your problem. You can advise, pray, and possibly help, but if he wants to make a bad decision, he will, and there's not much you can do about it. Talk to him about it and decide what the consequences will be.
6. Speaking of consequences, set them and stick to them. Or better yet, let your child decide what he thinks his consequences should be.Often, they're harder on themselves than you would be.
7. Pray for your child and let her know you're praying for her. Even if she seems to resent it, I believe deep down, she appreciates it and even expects it.
8. Keep showing affection. It doesn't have to be hugs and kisses, but a pat on the back, a hand on the shoulder or a smile from across the room convey that you're happy they're your child no matter what you're all going through.
9. Keep a sense of humor. What would happen if you laughed instead of got mad? How much tension would that eliminate from your home atmosphere? Try it. You'll love the result.
10. Offer grace. Your child blew it in some way. He expects a punishment of some kind, but seems to be genuinely sorry for what he did. Surprise him by wiping the slate clean. No punishment this time. It's what God did for us when he let Jesus die in our place. We were forgiven when we didn't deserve it and you can give your child the same experience. It sends him a powerful message of how deeply you love him.

When children disappoint us it feels like the end of the world, but it's really not. Keep in mind that most parents disappoint their children, too, so we're all on level ground. Keep loving, laughing, and praying for your child. God has them right where he wants them and is teaching them things an easier path may not have. And don't miss the lessons he's teaching you on this journey. It's all good when it's in God's hands.

How have you coped when your child disappointed you? How have you handled it when you disappointed your child?

Linda

10 Tips on Taking Your Kids to the Ball Park

You're a baseball fan and you'd love to include your kids in your outings to the ball park,.but the thought of corralling your little ones in a confined space for three hours is daunting. Will they be bored? Whiney? Will it be a waste of money?

Your experience at the baseball game will undoubtedly be different with kids than without them. Expect to miss some plays and not be able to tune into the game as much as usual. But it can be an awesome family time that you all enjoy. Here are a few ideas to make your time at the ball park fun and memorable for all of you.

1. Teach your kids patriotism. Stand, put your hand on your heart, look at the flag, and sing the National Anthem every game. And don't forget to stand, stretch, and sing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game" or God Bless America" during the seventh inning stretch. 
2. Let your kids take along a toy or two. Our youngest used to take her Fisher Price farm and play with it when she got bored.
3. Don't worry about dirt. Kids are washable, so if they want to sit on the ground in front of their seat and use it as a table to eat or play, let them. That's where our daughter used to play with her farm and it worked great. Just make sure whatever you put on the seat is heavy enough to hold the seat down so your're not catapulting hot dogs to the row behind you--which, by the way, the kids would want to do over and over.
4. Listen for the organ music and clap along with the crowd. This keeps the kids involved and active. Whatever fun things are done at the park, participate. Clap, stomp, howl, wave, or do whatever the music calls for. We used to sometimes clap each other's hands in high-five fashion just to switch it up a bit. And don't forget to watch the jumbotron (or whatever your park calls their huge scoreboard) for signals on what's happening. Chase Field in Phoenix where the Arizona Diamondbacks play has a muscle cam where people show off their muscles, a kiss cam when the couple the camera lands on has to kiss, a mustard, ketchup, and relish race where you cheer for your favorite condiment, and lots of other fun stuff.
5. If your child is getting restless and there's a kid zone or playground in your ball park, visit it. This will give the kids something to look forward to if they're not into the game. And leave the game early if you need to. As your children get older, they'll be able to last longer periods of time if you make this a fun excursion now, rather than a marathon.
6. Teach the kids how the game is played and where to look for the score.
7. Let kids make signs to hold up during the game.
8. Get treats. It's part of the fun of the ball park. Whether it's a hot dog, ice cream, or cotton candy, make it a special outing and splurge a little.
9. Encourage your kids to yell and cheer. This is really fun for them because they're usually told to quiet down. Now's the time for that outside voice!
10. Relax. Don't take the game too seriously. Your kids don't need to see you angry at umpires or cussing out players who mess up. Set an example of good sportsmanship.

Above all, have fun with your kids. Laugh. Enjoy the time you spend with them at the ball park because there may come a time they won't want to go with you. Respect their choice. No pressure. No guilt. When they're grown, chances are, they'll remember fondly the times you spent there together and may even take their own kids one day. And if not, so be it. It's just a game. The time you enjoyed together is never wasted.

How about you? Have you taken your kids to sporting events? How did it go? What did you do to make it successful? Any mistakes you hope not to repeat? Let's talk sports!


Linda

Favorite Vacation Spots

As I write this, we're on vacation in San Diego, CA. We spent our first evening at Seaport Village, our first day at Sea World, our second at the San Diego Zoo, and today at the Safari Park and Birch Aquarium. Tonight, our last night here, we sat on the beach and watched the sun set while eating ice cream. The sunset wasn't that great because it was a gray day. But we were on Dog Beach and got to watch lots of dogs romp in the sand and surf with their owners. And the ice cream was delicious! It was the perfect ending to a day with our animal loving daughter.

Some of our best vacations have been at the beach. We love the beauty of it, looking for shells, and the versatility it offers. Where else can kids (and Dad!) play in the water or build sand castles while I luxuriate in reading a good book? We also love hitting theme parks and amusement parks. One of my personal favorite vacation activities is visiting lighthouses. I'd love to visit them all some day!

What about you? Where have your favorite family vacations taken place? What do you love to do on vacation? Are there theme parks you'd recommend? Are there some nice, low-key spots your family loves to chill out? Let's talk vacations! 

Linda

Fun Food!

When my kids were little, they loved to eat food that looked like other things. It made it so much more fun! One of their favorites was hotdog men. They're simple, inexpensive, and are sure to bring a smile!

Cut a hotdog lengthwise about halfway up.

Make lengthwise slices on either side of the uncut half for arms.

Cover and microwave for 30 seconds.Remove. Your hotdog man's arms and legs will be curled out and sometimes the body is a little bent over. Just like real people, no two are alike!

Add a face with mustard or ketchup. Then let your creativity take over. Here are some ideas for decorating your hotdog men--or women!

• Cut cheese slices for clothes
• Use a lettuce leaf or a sliced pineapple ring for a skirt
• Use shredded or canned squirt cheese for hair
• Cut black olives for shoes
• Make a hat from chips
• Add whole cloves, raisins or chocolate chips for buttons.

The possibilities are endless! Kids love to decorate their own hotdogs. Who doesn't like to play with their food? 

How would you decorate your hotdog man? What other fun food ideas have you done with your kids? 

Linda