Imagine
that while you're unloading the dishwasher, your child goes through the kitchen
and opens every cabinet door and drawer he can reach.
You have no idea what
he's doing, but it's a little annoying. All those open doors make it hard to
move around in the kitchen and you keep running into them. You can react in one
of two ways. Tell him to please close the doors because you're trying to put
away the dishes and the open doors are in your way. Or thank him for his help
in opening all those doors for you so you don't have to as you unload the
dishes. Though it may be a bit more inconvenient, I suggest the latter
response.
Any time
you can put a positive spin on something your child is doing, as long as he's
not deliberately doing something wrong, then do it. When in doubt, always
assume your child was trying to be helpful or kind or good. It will help him
see himself in a better light and he'll try to keep doing things to please
you.
Or how
about if your child pulls out every DVD on the shelf, opens each one and lays
them all on the floor? What a mess! But what an awesome opportunity to thank
him for his help in matching all the DVDs to their correct cases as you work
together to pick them up. It becomes a fun matching game instead of a battle of
wills to clean them all up.
There's
an interesting by-product of assuming the best about your child. It
affects the way you see him, too.
It is so
easy to notice the things a child does wrong. After a while, it's hard to see
what he does right. But if you make a habit of seeing the good things he does,
pretty soon, the wrong he does fades into the woodwork. The whole parenting
world seems a little less hopeless and daunting. You find delight in raising
this amazing child!
So train
your eyes to put a positive spin on your child's behavior. He'll be happier and
so will you.
Have
you tried this? What effect did it have on you and/or your child?
Linda
Hi Linda,
ReplyDeleteGreat post! Just what I needed to read after a particularly frustrating day with a toddler who likes to "help" in his own way. This is a much better way to think about how what he was doing was positive and not trying to bug mommy. I know that in my heart but this was such a good reminder today!
Thanks!
So glad this came on the day you needed it, Katie! Sometimes a small reminder is all it takes to adjust our attitudes to a softer place for our kids. Parenting is a grueling job, but one full of joy if we keep our perspective right. Hugs to you, Jeremy, and Eli.
ReplyDelete