It's
official. I'm an emotional hot mess today.
I’m in the last weeks of having a child, however adult, living under my roof. My oldest child is almost thirty-four years old, and these last thirty-four years of mothering have been the sweetest work I've ever done, but they're quickly coming to an end. Oh, I know, once a mother, always a mother, but it won't be the same not having a child living under my roof.
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| Ashley "sewing" at Grandma's house. |
My
youngest child, Ashley, is preparing to leave our safe, happy nest in mid-August. She
will move to
Washington state and live in a 1976 Ford Chateau RV that we're working hard
to renovate. My husband and I will drive her, her RV, and her car to Washington, then fly home without her.
 |
| Me and my girl |
I just
finished recovering the cushions for Ashley's little RV couch today. The stress level
is a bit high right now due to her tight finances, my August first book
deadline, and pressing church responsibilities that also need to be done by the
first of August. Add to that the work that needs to be finished on her RV and
our regular life responsibilities and, well, let's say we're all wound a little
tight.
 |
| Ashley and me at Sea World Tide Pool |
As I
worked on that last cushion—the corner cushion that has given me fits for the
last two weeks—the tears came. I don't
want her to go! But go she must, for that's
what we've tried to prepare her, and ourselves, for since she was born that
December evening nearly twenty-one years ago.
 |
| Ashley, 9 mo. old |
She is
capable, confident, and so very personable. The world will be blessed to have
her outside of our warm cocoon, and will enjoy the joy and energy she brings
into it. She's been independent since she could walk and has had a mind of her
own even before that. She uses it well, and her decisions are thoughtful and
right. Her heart is big and holds so much love that she willingly shares with
others. When she was in elementary school she wouldn't leave until she'd hugged
every teacher, whether they were hers or not. That's who she is and how she
operates.
 |
| Silly face on the first day of school |
She is a
sunbeam and our home won't be nearly as bright without her. She isn't always
cheerful, but who is? She can make me laugh until tears stream down my cheeks.
And vice versa. She has been my coffee buddy, my fellow thrifter, my pedicure
partner, and my teacher when it came to loving animals.
 |
| High school graduation |
 |
| Celebrating getting her driver's license |
She'll
always be my daughter, but I'd be a fool to think things will ever be the same,
even when she comes back to visit. For once a child crosses the threshold of
independent living, there's no going back to the way things were.
 |
| 18th birthday |
So go, little
bird, with our love, our blessing, our deepest prayers for your success,
happiness, personal and spiritual growth. May you find all your heart longs for
and may the world treat you gently. Remember how very loved you are and that
our door and our hearts are always open to you. When you fly back, you'll be a
different person, as will we. But we'll always love you unconditionally, no
matter where you are.
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| At a AZ Diamondbacks game |
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| Ashley as Rose the Fairy at the AZ Renaissance Fair, 2016 |
Use your
gifts. Love God and live out your faith every day. Stay close to His side and
you'll always be at home.
Fly well,
baby bird, fly well.
Linda
